how to plan a surprise proposal

So you’re planning to pop the question, but you’re not sure how to get it captured without ruining the surprise. It’s a valid question—most people don’t expect to see a professional photographer hanging around with a camera in a normal setting. There is a strategy to letting your plans unfold without spoiling the surprise, so read more for my tips on how to best capture this special moment. 

Capturing the Moment: Your Surprise Proposal Photography Guide

In order to figure out what the plans will be for the proposal, first think of who you want to be there. Do you want family or friends present? Or do you want this to be private, aside from the photographer? Do you care if other random people are around, like a public place? If you and/or your partner aren’t big on attention, it’s probably best to keep it mostly private as you may be nervous as is that day. Total privacy tends to require some sort of reservation, or a public place during a less busy day and time, like a weekday or weekend morning.

Setting the Scene: Who, What, and Where?

Make plans with your partner that won’t raise suspicions as this being anything particularly out of the ordinary. For example, if you and your partner like to go on walks in nature, consider doing your proposal somewhere in nature so that your plans seem like a normal date that you’d go on. Other examples could be getting dressed up to go out, going to the beach, or while on a day trip or vacation together. This is a good time to reflect on what you both like to do in your free time, or what your partner has said they always wanted to go, where they wanted to go, or something you've done before that they loved. Some couples even recreate their first date as the proposal.

The ideal proposal scenario gives you a space where you can freely speak your heart to your partner and ask for their commitment.

Blending In: Making Your Proposal Seem Like a Normal Day

If you’re unsure what to wear, neutrals, jewel tones, and pastels all work well on most skin tones and aren’t too distracting. Avoid busy patterns and prominent logos if you can. But most importantly, make sure you’re dressing for the plans you made so as not to raise suspicion (by overdressing, for example). Or you can dress up, but say you're going out to dinner later, as an example.

If you’re concerned your partner is wearing something that won’t look good on camera, you could always subtly encourage them to wear something else by saying, “I love when you wear XYZ shirt/pants/dress/etc., it looks so good on you!”

Dressing for the Occasion (Without Giving it Away)

Then you’ll have some time after the proposal to take some sweet engagement photos of the two of you together, while you’re riding high on emotion and feeling so much love for each other.

Having photos of this special moment is an opportunity that can’t be replicated.

The Unforgettable Aftermath: Post-Proposal Photos

Once you have an idea of what you’d like to do for the proposal, it’s time to start searching for photographers. Find someone whose style you/your partner like and who communicates well, because with a proposal it’s important you’re both on the same page—this only happens once. Try to communicate with them discreetly, and check their availability to help you pick a date.

You’ll need an exact date, time, and location to have a clear meeting point. It’s recommended that either you or the photographer scopes out the area beforehand. Sending a pin on a map and photos of the proposal location will make it clear where you’re both supposed to be come the time of your plans.

Finding Your Stealthy Photographer

For the day of, your photographer should have a decoy as to why they’re there, or be out of your partner’s line of sight to be noticed. Some examples: They could bring someone along and pretend to shoot with them; they could pretend to be capturing birds if in nature. Something that photographers might do normally. Or they could hide their camera completely, and pretend to be reading a book, listening to music, etc.

As you come into view, your photographer will bring their camera to focus to you and your partner. From a photography side, things like a telephoto lens and a silent shutter will help your partner not notice them, as they can keep a distance away and not make too much noise.

The Big Day: Executing the Surprise